Disclaimer: This story is completely fake, which means that it may be real in Anthony Gemma’s world.
Gemma is planning to trump Cicilline by flying in fake Facebook fans from Pakistan
In light of allegations that David Cicilline buses in thousands of people to vote for him, social media guru/Congressional candidate/plumber Anthony Gemma today announced that he is planning to trump Cicilline by flying in his fake Facebook fans from Pakistan and India to vote for him in the September 11th Primary Election.
Here’s an excerpt from a press release by Gemma:
“I am going to take my fake campaign to the next level,” said Gemma. “This latest stunt will be my biggest one yet and is going to have an immediate, stunning, game-changing impact on Rhode Island politics — again,” he continued. “I only lost by 8030 votes in 2010. I can easily fly in 10,000 of my fake Facebook fans from Pakistan and India to put me over the top in 2012! Best of all, I will also boost the RI economy by purchasing a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee for each of my loyal fans. Now that’s what I call a 21st century jobs plan!”
Gemma fan Youcef Hammoud enthusiastically added, “خاف ربي في الذراري.. هذه كلمة قالها أحد الاولياء لحارس من حراس الامتحانات ، و الله لا ندري من يخاف الله ، كنا نضحكو على الكبار ايا العصا عوجا من فوق ، و الله لن تنال النجاح و تذوق طعمه حثى تلعق الصبر ، تحسبو اوروبا خدمت الطيارات و السفن و الكمبيوتر بالكوبياج ، الناس تخبش ليل و نهار و لعل يوصلو ……….و الله ان في القلب الشئ الكثير و لكن مرات مول الحق يولي يشوف في روحو غالط ، و لو عرف الناس ما في الغش من محاذير شرعية ما تجرأو عليه و لعلي أذكر البعض منها و هو منقول للامانة و من مواقع شرعية و أصحابها أهل تخصص : أولا : أنه محرم فقد جاء في الصحيح عَنْ أَبِى هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – صلى الله عليه وسلم- قَالَ « مَنْ حَمَلَ عَلَيْنَا السِّلاَحَ فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا وَمَنْ غَشَّنَا فَلَيْسَ مِنَّا ».”
In a cryptic Facebook post made shortly after his announcement, Gemma posted the following:
So this it what RI Future has reduced itself to. Disclaimer: I’m really not a Gemma fan. It blows my mind that you would subject your readers to childish mean spirited attacks. It speaks to the blogs purpose which I thought was to promote intelligent discussion of progressive issues. Stuff like this and the booting of the Libertarian Right To Work are sad.
How kind of you to chime in DD.
Let me begin by saying that things such as satire, parody, and cartoons are pretty popular in politics and you will find them not only on blogs, but also in a number of publications.
That being said, I do my due diligence to make my fake news as authentic as possible. Youcef is a “real” fake facebook fan of Gemma’s and that is an excerpt of an actual comment he made on Gemma’s FB page.
The whole point of the diary is that this story is as authentic – if not more so – than Gemma’s “real” campaign. Sorry if that went over your head.
Also, feel free to comment on what you’d refer to as my serious diary. I couldn’t help to notice that you had no input to offer there. I’d love to hear your thoughts. However, if you are merely trolling for my attention, I will not hesitate to call shenanigans on you.
OK, let me try my hand at this satire stuff. Did you here the one about the guy on the Gemma’s video selling mail ballots and said he did the same for Cicilline? Well as it turns out, he got a $100K loan from Cicilline’s Providence Economic Development Partnership for a restaurant in 2004 that was closed by 2005. Whoops! Sorry, no joke. GoLocal Story
You obviously don’t know what satire is. I’m working on a follow-up story to that garbage GoLocal story. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that, too.
In all serious, if you can put up some facts disputing any of this it would be a miracle but I’ll give you your props. I repeat, I’m not a Gemma fan but the attacks coming from this site just appear juvenile and are avoiding the issues. I’ve only seen one serious thread I think from Tom Sgouras. Even Bob has succumb to the Facebook fraud and premature Cicilline defense attacks.
I’m pretty sure that we are way ahead of any other source when it comes to presenting the facts. If you can’t accept them, then I can’t help you.