According to the wacky guy that started this rather entertaining rumor, all of the Christians were supposed to be whisked away to paradise by the second coming of Christ on Saturday. Do you really think Jesus, “Mr. Common Man”, would return on a Saturday? How insensitive would that be? You slave all week at work; sit down to enjoy a beer on a spring day, and you’re interrupted by the rapture.
In good humor, this is how it would have gone down had all the Christians disappeared into the sky on Saturday:
Obama would have been super pumped by the news. Being a secret Muslim he wouldn’t have gotten taken up, however two thirds of his Republican opponents’ voting base would have. Jesus’ return would have made Obama’s re-election a sure thing.
The non-Christian Republicans would have lost a major issue to complain about. Considering most of the illegal Hispanics are catholic, they would have been taken and this would leave the Republicans lacking their favorite scapegoat.
Wall Street would have survived because the Hebrews would have been stuck here with the rest of us. However, the stock prices of companies like Wal-Mart, Nascar, the WWF, and any firearms manufacturer would have taken a huge hit.
Unfortunately, the middle east peace process would still be mess because neither the Muslims or Jews would have disappeared so that fight would still be on. China, lacking any religion, would have still been a pain in our ass.
What would have been positive is the legalization of marijuana would pass quickly with the conservative Christians gone. Who needs to go to heaven when we can all have it here right?