Amore bill would guarantee opt-out process for PARCC test


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Rep. Gregg Amore

The RI House Health, Education, and Welfare Committee took testimony last night on legislation that would mandate the Department of Education to provide uniform guidance across the districts that would guarantee parents the right to opt their children out of the PARCC (Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers) assessment.

Parents have always had that right, but the recent guidance from RIDE to superintendents has been misleading and resulted in confusion and turmoil for parents across the state. The bill also stipulates that no student shall face disciplinary action for not participating in the testing and that no student shall have his or her academic record adversely affected for not participating.

RIDE’s Mary Ann Snider, and others, tried to defend the necessity of this testing, though even Ms. Snider admitted that students are being over-tested. Parents, retired teachers, and concerned citizens rebutted the value of this particular test and its ramifications.

Sponsored by Representative Gregg Amore, along with reps Canario, Regunberg, Keable and O’Brien, the bill is one step in the right direction to bring to light a situation that is menacing our public schools in the name of the “civil rights issue of our time.”

common coreOur children, our families, our neighborhoods, our public schools, and our democracy itself have become pawns in a vast and inter-connected scheme to undermine public institutions for private profit. The vehicle for this travesty in public education is the Common Core State (sic) [Stealth] Standards and their accompanying high-stakes standardized testing—PARCC. This incessant test prepping and testing, orchestrated to be taken on computers, intensifies the myth that 21st century teaching depends on the innovation of software programs that “personalize” education for each child. Nothing could be further from the truth. The entrenched belief that accounting/accountability, i.e. data collection, is the answer to lagging scores on standardized tests as compared to other nations is a travesty.

Human beings learn from other human beings. Human beings are inspired to learn in trusted relationships. The factory model of standardization and culling of the defective is antithetical to a diverse, democratic society. This is a travesty of the extreme right wing (e.g. ALEC, American Legislative Exchange Council), the Democrats for Education Reform and the White House, the Chamber of Commerce, ed tech entrepreneurs/corporatists like Bill Gates, and mega-corporations like Microsoft and Pearson, which have the willing collusion of the federal Department of Education. The critics of this so-called “innovative” strategy come from across the political spectrum – from libertarians to liberals, progressives, and socialists.

Critics of these reforms are accused of perpetuating the status quo. It is true that the status quo is unacceptable in important ways, but the remedies of the corporatists and their ilk are making the situation infinitely worse. And “cui bono” (for whose benefit)? For the benefit of edupreneurs, hedge fund managers, global corporations, and those bent on the gentrification of trodden down neighborhoods.

Consider the stealthy way the drafters of the Common Core standards were selected. Why were primarily representatives from the college testing industry, like the SAT and ACT, included when k-12 classroom teachers, specialists in early childhood education, teachers of special needs students, and authorities on students learning English as a second language were excluded? These standards and accompanying curricula have been developed with blinders on.

They reflect a narrow, technocratic vision of teaching and learning, which is at odds with decades of authentic research into children’s cognitive development, first and second language development, and literacy development. They ignore all aspects of education that promote healthy psychosocial development, and even physical health. They ignore or downplay the significance of the humanities—history, literature, drama, music, art, dance, philosophy—all of the attributes that contribute to a humane society.

Why has a monolithic curriculum in English Language Arts and Math been created to align with these ill-begotten standards, to then be aligned with the incessant testing that accompanies them? Why have state departments of education been essentially bribed by Race to the Top money and then waivers to the failed No Child Left Behind law to swallow these poorly constructed standards, curricula, and tests? Who will benefit from the massive amounts of personal student data being collected not only from the testing process, but from every keystroke of every student on every Chrome book stocked with every poor quality but snazzy program, adjusted by algorithm to the individual student’s responses?

These are questions that are serious in the extreme. They must be confronted by all segments of our society. Instead, school administrators and teachers are asked by PARCC to sign security agreements that hearken back to the McCarthy era under the guise of test security and “fairness.” Teachers, under pain of losing their jobs and even their teaching licenses, are being intimidated into not expressing their concerns about the inappropriateness of the Common Core and PARCC testing to the parents of the children in their classrooms. This is unacceptable and must be challenged.

Photos from the RISD art studio technician strike


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RISD Strike
RISD Strike

Over twenty members of NEARI local 806 carried picket signs on North Main St early this morning before separating to cover the various studios that are spread over the RISD campus. The art studio technicians are officially on strike until “the administration returns to the negotiating table.”

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Neighborhood Health Stations are better than cutting Medicaid


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NHS01Imagine a plan sitting at the RI Department of Health (RIDOH) that would reduce health care spending in Rhode Island by 15 to 30 percent. A plan with the added benefit of improving health care outcomes “with a cutting edge technology that brings every Rhode Islander into world class care – as they need it, where they need it, when they need it, in a way that builds community instead of building profit for others.”

Neighborhood Health Stations, developed by the RIDOH under the leadership of Dr. Michael Fine, is that plan.

Neighborhood Health Stations are “basically community hospitals without walls,” says Dr. Fine in conversation with Richard Asinof of ConvergenceRI. Dr. Fine planned to build one station for every 12,000 Rhode Islanders, between 75 and 100 such stations in all. The first one was to be built in Central Falls.

NHS02Neighborhood Health Stations would locate pediatricians, internists, family physicians, dentists, nurse practitioners, licensed and registered nurses, advanced practice nurses, physician assistants, mental health and social workers, physical therapists and occupational therapists, pharmacists, emergency medical technicians and paramedics, registered dietitians, home health workers, promotoras, health coaches, navigators and other healthcare workers under one roof, in a facility that would also offer programs such as “nutrition courses, Zumba classes, or group counseling sessions.”

According to Dr. Fine, if we implemented this plan, we could shrink the hospital system in our state. “When you build out the full delivery system of one neighborhood health station for every community of 12,000 people,” says Dr. Fine, “it is very likely that we can reduce the total number of hospital beds by 40 to 45 percent. That means dropping [the number of hospital beds in Rhode Island] by about 900 beds.”

Governor Gina Raimondo’s budget proposes cutting $88 million from Medicaid’s $2.7 billion in spending, a 3 to 6 percent reduction. Since “Reinventing Medicaid” is being presented as an answer to an imminent disaster, improving the quality of health care or paying adequate wages to health care workers is taking a back seat to saving money.

That’s a shame, because a fully realized health care system of the kind imagined by Dr. Fine would attract business and investment to Rhode Island, while draconian cuts in services to our most vulnerable will have the opposite effect. If we could build Neighborhood Health Stations and make them work, “then health care spending becomes a business magnet. People come and locate businesses here, just because of our health care,” says Dr. Fine.

It’s a great idea, but not one that’s likely to happen. Since Dr. Fine’s departure, Neighborhood Health Stations seem in jeopardy. The new head of the RIDOH, Dr. Nicole Alexander-Scott, has yet to comment on the plan. But a more immediate reason for the plan’s quiet demise can be intuited.

“…if I have had one failure [while serving as director of the R.I. Department of Health],” said Dr. Fine, “if I want to be self-critical, [it’s] that I haven’t made it clear enough to people that we don’t have a problem with insurance, the problem is insurance. That thinking, that insurance, as a financial mechanism, can impact health, is a fundamental, categorical mistake.”

Dr. Fine saw his Neighborhood Health Stations as saving money by cutting out for profit insurance companies, and actually reducing the size of hospitals. The Reinventing Medicaid working group is comprised of a diverse group of people, but for-profit insurers and health-care providers have a prominent seat at the table. Timothy Babineau, MD, president and CEO of Lifespan, Peter Andruszkiewicz, president and CEO of Blue Cross Blue Shield of RI and Helena Foulkes, executive vice president of CVS Health and president of CVS/pharmacy will ensure that their corporate, for-profit interests are protected.

To Dr. Fine, Neighborhood Health Stations are the future of health care. “…if we don’t do it, all we’re doing is perpetuating a costly infrastructure that doesn’t work.” An infrastructure that will remain immeasurably profitable to those sitting at the top of certain health care empires.

The “artwork was created by Roger Williams University students, in consultation with students at Rhode Island College School of Nursing, to illustrate how Neighborhood Health Stations could enhance well-being in Rhode Island communities.”

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Symposium on mass incarceration confronts challenges, unites system


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Not in more than a decade has Rhode Island confronted the reality of mass incarceration as unflinchingly, as ambitiously and as uncomfortably as it did last Friday.

Sounding the Alarm on Mass Incarceration,” a day-long symposium at Roger Williams Law School, drew hundreds of the most prominent and integral members of the Rhode Island criminal justice system to face that very system’s flaws head on. Although the fire has been raging for some time, it was retired Superior Court Judge Judith Savage, the event’s logistical and spiritual leader, that struck the alarm.  Directors and staff from all relevant public agencies, including most of Rhode Island’s Judges, crossed from opposite sides of the aisle, the courtroom, and the prison walls themselves, to sit side by side. The event combined the gravity of a government planning committee with the openness of a public forum.

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The symposium looked into Rhode Island’s prison problem in the same week that US Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy declared that the “corrections system is one of the most overlooked, misunderstood institutions we have in our entire government.”  US Attorney General Holder himself recently said, “Too many people go to too many prisons for far too long for no good law enforcement reason.”

In accord, the local event’s two expert keynote speakers, Bryan Stevenson and Marc Mauer, began the morning with the conclusion that our overuse of prison at its core wastes money combating crime ineffectually and inhumanely. Despite broad consensus that mass incarceration is an American crisis, this was still a radical and controversial assertion in a room filled with the very people who daily are tasked in Rhode Island with sending people to prison.

Marc Mauer, executive director of the Sentencing Project, an organization which spearheaded the recent federal reform of crack-cocaine sentencing disparities, presented the room with a stark set of statistics and assertions. In the US, incarceration rates have increased by 500 percent since the 1980’s. We now incarcerate people at five to eight times more than other developed countries. One in three black men will go to prison in their life times. He reviewed a recent study by the National Research Council that concluded that while increased prison rates decrease crime, the “magnitude of this crime reduction is likely small.” From the same report he identified a simple set of causes: a rise in the chance of going to prison upon arrest and an increase in sentence length.  To reverse the trend, these rates must be reduced.

Bryan Stevenson
Bryan Stevenson.

While Mauer deconstructed the crisis with statistics, keynote speaker Bryan Stevenson outlined four emotional and psychological challenges: get proximate, confront racism, remain hopeful, and brave discomfort.  Fittingly, these were the very challenges faced by the audience throughout the day.

Stevenson is the director of the Equal Justice Initiative, an agency based in Alabama that represents poor, wrongfully convicted, or inadequately represented defendants.  His TED talk “We need to talk about justice,” has been viewed over 2 million times. He spoke of hearing a death row prisoner sing while being abused. He told of hugging a child that had been sentenced to adult prison for killing his mother’s abuser as the child confessed to Stevenson of being brutally raped in prison. And he recalled being told “I just love you for fighting for me,” by a severely disabled man about to be executed. A national hero amidst the carnage of our penal system, his stories were at once heart-breaking and inspiring.

One of Stevenson’s themes was the need to confront racism, and the ugly facts of racial disparity within RI’s criminal justice system were dramatically apparent throughout the event.  At the end of the day, former Rhode Island Superior Court Judge Francis Darigan asked the audience to look at our own system for any racial bias.  This sort of examination is extremely challenging, and Stevenson provided a vision of what success would look like.  He compared the legacy of slavery in the United States to the legacy of the Holocaust in Germany. Once in Germany, he was told by a room of lawyers and politicians that Germany could never conceive of inflicting the death penalty after gassing millions in the Holocaust.

“And I think about that because I would be outraged today if I saw the nation state of Germany putting people in gas chambers, and I’d certainly be outraged if they were disproportionately Jewish,” said Stevenson, drawing a powerful comparison to America’s prison system.

Stevenson argued that slavery was not an economic system, it was an ideology of dehumanization, an ideology that, unlike in Germany, has never been purged in the United States.  A successful response to racism in America, he envisioned, would look like Germany’s response to the holocaust.

In addition, “We must get proximate to the challenges we want to solve,” Stevenson exhorted the audience, telling of how his passion and insight into this issue came from getting to know people face to face.  The power of proximity emerged that very day, as the audience heard directly from two men who had spent much of their lives behind bars.

In most similar events, speakers with a criminal record are labeled at the time of introduction–no matter their other accomplishments they are introduced with the distinction of ‘formerly incarcerated,’ making it clear to the audience that they are on stage because they were once in prison. Instead, refreshingly, James Monteiro and Luis Estrada were introduced with the accolades that they have earned outside the walls, accomplishments that would have themselves justified a place at the microphone.

James Monteiro is a published spoken word poet, the founder and director of the Billy Taylor House, a community organization that supports young adults in Providence’s Mount Hope neighborhood, and the Director of Prison Programs for College Unbound.  He also spent ten years in prison in Baltimore. In a discussion moderated by Justice O. Rogeriee Thompson of the US Court of Appeals, Monteiro spoke of peering through a tiny prison window as his son left a prison visit in tears, saying he decided at that point to stop blaming others for his situation and to take responsibility.  “It had always been your fault,” he said, pointing at the audience.  After that, Monteiro said, “Education changed my life.” He earned an associate’s degree while incarcerated, a bachelor’s degree after release, and now runs a prison education program.

Luis Estrada’s journey to the stage was nothing short of unbelievable.  He earned several degrees while serving 22 years in prison for robbery, won a motion in the United States Supreme Court from prison, and was offered a job by former Providence Mayor Angel Taveras’s law-firm prior to leaving prison.  Since his release ten years ago, he has dedicated his life to running political campaigns and assisting reentry and addiction recovery work across the state while at the same pursuing a successful career as Office Manager at the law firm Sullivan, Whitehead, and Delucca.

The unique juxtaposition of the day was highlighted when Estrada commented, “Judge Bourcier sentenced me to seventy years for my first offense,” and an audience of judges nodded in recognition of their former colleague’s actions.

The rationality for Rhode Island’s current long probation sentences was called into question by the experiences of Estrada, who will be on probation until he is 83 years old.  He remarked that on the way to the event that day he had to call to report that he would be leaving the state as the highways took him through Massachusetts.  Later that day, an audience member commented during Q&A that “There is no reason these two men are still on probation.”  While the group struggled to identify specific solutions, that point seemed like it must have been dramatically clear to all policymakers in the room.  Pieces of legislation to reduce RI’s long probation sentences have been considered in the past (here and here), and Estrada’s experience reminded everyone of the need for such efforts.

“Injustice prevails where hopelessness persists,” proclaimed Stevenson in his opening remarks.  Despite the overwhelming challenges confronted by the members of the audience, some sort of optimism pervaded the day.  Estrada and Monteiro, convicts turned model citizens, certainly served as beacons for hope. However, Teny Gross, director of the Institute for the Study and Practice of Nonviolence, pointed out that Estrada and Monteiro are extraordinary.  “You have to be extraordinary just to live a normal life,” said Gross, describing Estrada and Monteiro’s quest to move from poverty to a middle class world.

Several panelists pointed to ongoing programs that offer paths to reform. Molly Baldwin, director of ROCA, stated that her organization has reduced recidivism by 65 percent amongst high risk youth.  ROCA is a nationally renowned organization in Massachusetts that piloted, amongst other things, a Social Impact Bond funding model.  In this “Pay for Success” design, a venture capital firm provides the up-front money to help the state invest in services to prevent crime and re-incarceration, and the state only pays them back if the project succeeds.  This funding structure allows the state to begin the process of retooling its criminal justice system from a mass incarceration model to a prevention model.

An array of current local efforts were also discussed.  John Houston of Justice Assistance and Brad Brockmann of the Center for Prisoner Health and Human Rights, discussed their collaboration to improve awaiting trial discharge planning in order to stop addiction and mental-health fueled reoffending.  Solangel Rodriguez discussed OpenDoor’s efforts to help felons find work.  Teny Gross described his institute’s work preventing violent crime.  Assistant Attorney General Stacey Veroni referenced the RI Drug Court, the RI Veteran’s Court, and Justice Assistance’s program to divert into community supervision those that would otherwise be held without bail.  Chief Public Defender Mary McElroy discussed legislation to “turn off the spigot” by reclassifying several petty misdemeanors, such as disorderly conduct, to civil offenses.

But the largest reform conversation was about probation. “Mass probation” is a nationwide phenomenon, but it is especially true here. We have the fourth highest rate of people on probation and are one of three states with the lowest possible standard of proof for revocation hearings.  One in 34 adult white men are on probation in this state, one in six adult black men.  In complete unison, each agency agreed that mass probation was a problem that should be tackled.

Department of Corrections Director A. T. Wall said the number of probationers far exceeds the capacity of his staff to appropriately supervise them, saying that officers must “triage” cases to deal with the overflow.  He remarked that in 2007, policy makers had come together to avert a prison overcrowding problem.  That process resulted in groundbreaking good-time legislation and a marked reduction in the prison population with little political fallout or crime ramifications (in fact, as the DOC data showed, recidivism rates actually decreased slightly from 2004 to 2010).  That 2007 discussion also included several ideas regarding probation reform, which in combination with the ideas discussed at the forum, could serve as a starting point for a renewed push.  Wall called for a followup proactive discussion to solve the probation crisis, and his concerns were reiterated by Veroni, McElroy, Colonel O’Donnell, the Superintendent of the Rhode Island State Police, and several members of the audience.

Laura Pisaturo, the new Parole Board Chair, also stated that any changes would be difficult.  “We must have the courage to implement best practices,” she said, “There are no easy solutions.”

Though participants did not come to a consensus on what the hard solutions would be, they made substantial progress for a single day’s work.  What happens next remains to be seen, but, “I’m not going anywhere,” vowed Judge Savage in her closing, offering a promise and a challenge to the audience she had brought together.

RISD art studio technicians go on strike starting Thursday


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risd strike
RISD technicians plan to put these signs to use at a strike on Thursday.

Rhode Island School of Design technicians – the school employees who facilitate and operate the various art studios on campus – are going on strike Thursday. Tucker Houlihan, president of NEARI local 806, said this will shutter the art studios to students.

“They are shutting down the kilns,” he said. “They won’t be laser cutting, they won’t be welding. Kids who had those classes, they won’t have it.”

RISD spokewoman Jaime Marland said, “Arrangements are being made to minimize the impact of such an action – in the event of a strike, some shops will be open.”

Houlihan says the 44 employees who run the various studios – there are about 16 different studios, he said, and listed as examples the glass studio, ceramics studio, metal studio and the woodworking studio – play a large role in RISD students’ education. “We’re the ones who have unlimited contact with students because we are in the studios all week,” he said.

Houlihan said the strike will last until the administration returns to the negotiating table.

The technicians and administration have been at odds over a new contract since May of 2014 and they have been working under the old contract since then. In October, the administration declared an impasse, Houlihan said. A mediator told the union to identify budget neutral contract changes.

In response, the union would like their contract to stipulate the pension contribution percentage technicians currently receive from the school. He said it is 8 percent and is spelled out in the faculty handbook but not the contract. The union feels it would be harder for RISD to cut that part of technicians salary if it was spelled out in the contract. Previously, technicians received a 10 percent pension contribution, but it had since been lowered to 8 percent.

Marland, the school spokeswoman, said “RISD has worked closely with the Technicians’ Association bargaining team since May 2014 to reach an agreement that provides the technicians with a competitive wage and benefits package while balancing the college’s critical need to keep the rate of tuition increases low. RISD’s offer to the technicians remains open and the college is hopeful that, if a strike occurs, it will conclude quickly.”

“We are not striking over monetary changes,” Houlihan said. “We’re simply trying to get them to come back to the table and negotiate in good faith.”

The Technicians Association has a Facebook page, a Twitter account and a website.

Homeless shelter standards legislation would reduce discrimination


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Advocates for the homeless say a Providence shelter discriminates against clients based on their sexual orientation. This, and other complaints, inspired the Rhode Island Homeless Advocacy Project to work with legislators on standards for homeless shelters in Rhode Island.

The bill, sponsored by Sen. Betty Crowley of Central Falls, will be heard by a Senate subcommittee today after the full Senate commences. A House version is sponsored by a wide range of Democrats, from Rep. Aaron Regunberg, a rookie and one of the more progressive legislators, to Doc Corvese, a veteran Democrat but also one of the most conservative members of the General Assembly.

The idea for the legislation was conceived in large part by the Rhode Island Homeless Advocacy Project (RIHAP), headed by Barbara Kalil, Bill Chamberlain, and John Freitas.

Photo courtesy of morguefile.com
Photo courtesy of morguefile.com

“What we’re trying to accomplish is to set standards for anyone who is trying to shelter the homeless,” Freitas said. “As an advocacy group, we have to deal time and time again with people who have been denied shelter for arbitrary reasons.”

Among those reasons, they said, were girls wearing too much makeup, an unwed pregnant woman and sexual orientation. 

The bill was inspired, in part, by the conditions at the Safe Haven shelter in Pawtucket, which was run by the Urban League and forced to close during the summer of 2014.

But RIHAP has also received many complaints about the Providence Rescue Mission at 627 Cranston Street. Freitas said he has seen a number of these violations themselves – including forcing residents to attend a church service which talks about the evils of homosexuality.

“I was talking to a gay resident while I was staying there, and the staff questioned my manhood,” he said. “When we were in line to shower, they separated us. I don’t deny anybody the right to their beliefs, but I don’t think shelters should be dependent on me falling in line with those beliefs. Shelters should be just that, a sanctuary.”

RIHAP also received reports that gay individuals have been discouraged from going there. And when they are do, said RIHAP members, they are purposefully made to feel uncomfortable, and are identified as gay to both the staff and residents.

They have been told the staff believes it is their religious right to turn people away because it is not publicly funded.

“They don’t answer to anybody, so they can get away with it,” Chamberlain said.

Jim Ryczek, executive director for the Rhode Island Coalition for the Homeless, said that although they have received the same complaints, the Rescue Mission has not broken the law.

“Since they are not a member agency, they are free to operate their program as they see fit, as long as it doesn’t violate state law,” he said.

Sometimes, RIHAP members said, the discrimination is simply personal. “In some cases, it’s just a matter of a staff member doesn’t like you, so you’re gone. And there’s no accountability,” Freitas said.

Chamberlain said when such abuses are brought to the state, the response was that they did not want to withhold funding from the agencies. There were many times, though, when a grievance was brought forward and it did not receive a proper procedure.

“If you were to make out a grievance against a shelter you were staying in, it could potentially go into the circular file,” Kalil said. “Nobody is really watching anybody to make sure it’s getting heard. Not only does it not get heard, but they’re going to make it all nice, and nobody gives any timeline to when things will get fixed.”

Kalil added that they have also heard incidences of a shelter telling a homeless person they are barred, when in fact they are not. “We need to make sure their rights are respected,” she said.

The bill says “all homeless persons have the right to homeless shelter services regardless of political or religious beliefs, immigration status, former geographic location of residence, ethno-cultural background, (dis)ability, gender identity, criminal background, and/or sexual orientation.”

The bill also outlines that homeless individuals should not be expected to pay a fee to stay in a shelter and nutritious food should be provided and that shelters should provide residents an atmosphere of dignity, and that staff should accept gender identity as defined by the individual, among others.

These guidelines would be enforced by a committee formed by the Housing Resources Commission (HRC), which would include one homeless or formerly homeless person, as well as one resident or former resident of a domestic violence shelter. The committee would be responsible for several tasks, all of which would address the concerns outlined in the bill, such as resident rights and responsibilities, and organizational standards for the shelter itself. The HRC would be required to enforce and implement any of the approved regulations drafted by the committee.

The bill would also impose baseline standards for homeless shelters in Rhode Island. An External Review Committee would conduct four onsite inspections of all shelters in Rhode Island per year. Only one of these inspections would be scheduled two weeks before their arrival, the other three would remain unannounced. Penalties for violating any of these standards would be monetary; between 2 percent and 10 percent of their average monthly expenses, based on the severity of the infraction, and the agency’s history.

Concerns about the legislation include aversion to new regulations, as well as aversions to potential new costs, Ryczek said.

“The members are rightly bringing up that if there are increased costs, where is that coming from? We will advocate with state and federal governments and say that if we need to do this, you need to provide,” he said.

H5242 will be heard in the Senate Committee on Housing and Municipal Government meeting on Wednesday, April 1, at 4:30 pm. Updates to follow.

Alex and Ani buys naming rights to state formerly known as Rhode Island


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alex-anchorApril 1, 2015 — Governor Gina Raimondo announced that Cranston-based jewelry company Alex and Ani has purchased the naming rights to the state.

Starting next week, the new name will be “The State of Alex and Ani and Providence Plantations.” The Department of Motor Vehicles will be issuing new license plates with a choice of four collectible bangles, including Quahog-Contentness, Coffee-Milk Celebration, and Anchor of Hope.

“I don’t think of this as a bailout,” said Raimondo. “It’s an investment opportunity, with a little bit of bling!”

Although the exact terms of the deal remain classified as a “business secret,” Raimondo assured the public, “This is a very sweet deal. They’ve purchased all our debt in exchange for the right to collect tolls, raise taxes, teach color and chakra theory in schools, and require people to assemble jewelry in exchange for their unemployment benefits.”

In an early morning ceremony at the State House, House Speaker Nicholas Matiello, and Senate President Teresa Paiva Weed were each presented with empty charm necklaces with plenty of room for contributions from lobbyists and special interests. “We are looking forward to jerking the governor’s chain,” said Mattiello.

“Historically, Rhode Island was the costume jewelry capital of the world,” explained Brown University Professor Dr. I.M. Fulaship. “Now the costume jewelry has retaken the capital and the entire state.”

Poem: ‘April Fools’


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November 9th, Twenty-Sixteen
Words crawl across my TV screen:
GOP WINS THE WHITE HOUSE BACK
My chest felt like a heart attack

I called my friends so we could grieve
Some were packing, ready to leave
Others asked me, “How could we lose?”
Still others drowned their tears in booze

The only hope we could embrace
Lay with the House and Senate race
But red states were on a roll
Republicans took full control

The first sign things weren’t like before
My doc moved to a Walmart store
ObamaCare – too socialized
So now all healthcare’s privatized

Keystone pipeline that wasn’t built
Assured us that no oil was spilt
Now crude is pumped in each time zone
With fracking sites in Yellowstone

Small business climbed out of its rut
Now that minimum wage got cut
The Equal Pay for Women Act?
Big biz made sure it wasn’t backed

Immigration is finally fixed
Thanks to a border wall of bricks
Built by any Mexican who
Gets an ID number tattoo

Guns and books are now the rule
Arming teachers in every school
Bus drivers too, and postal clerks
Ready for whatever danger lurks

America gets even worse
Lucky for you I’m out of verse
Suffice to say if this comes true
The April Fools are me and you

c2015pn
Read Peet Nourjian’s previous poems here.


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